THE MOMENT
"Praise Ballisea!" The clerk gave Carter a curious look after his exclamation. The weathered, pot-bellied man behind the counter had his share of weirdos come through the convenience store. The lean patron with a brown beard was strange; but, he seemed friendly enough to start a conversation with. Especially if he just hit the jackpot on his scratch ticket.
"Praise who now?" he asked. Carter chuckled and shook his head. He avoided sharing the story with anyone he was close to so they wouldn't think he was ridiculous. But, now that he was rich, he knew he wasn't likely to return to this or any convenience store again in the near future. He had a special date planned for the evening and whatever was left of a million dollars after taxes coming to him. It was surprisingly easy to keep calm. He was already in a fantastic mood after his date agreed; the million dollars somehow wasn't as exciting. Carter's day could not have gotten any better.
"No one...," He shook his head as he answered. "She's a god I made up when I was younger. I had some self-esteem issues," he shrugged with a chuckle. "I couldn't imagine a friend wanting to play with me, so I created an imaginary god that wouldn't mind watching over me from a distance. Ballisea the Demon Queen."
"Your god is a demon queen?" The clerk asked with amusement. "Why'd you create an evil god?" he asked.
"Ballisea is not evil," Carter replied. His tone was flatter than a second ago and the clerk caught the change. "She just happens to be a demon queen with horns and everything; because I was eight," he said.
"Fair enough," the clerk chuckled. "What's she like?"
"She's fickle like any god," Carter said. He realized he was starting to talk about her as if she were real again. It was the main reason he was afraid of others judging him. Deep in the back of his mind, he knew she wasn't real. But, over the years he'd developed the habit of acting like she was and it was too easy to slip into that mode. He tried to change the direction of the conversation. "She's not real. But, even then I imagined her to be pretty distant. At this point, it's kind of just habit to 'Praise Ballisea' whenever anything goes right."
"Like winning the lottery?" the clerk asked. Carter nodded with a smile. He knew it was time to leave and he stepped away from the counter.
"Like winning enough money so I can splurge a little extra on my hot date tonight," he grinned as he waved.
"Enjoy it," the clerk said. He considered asking how much Carter won; but, there was no point. The man already made it clear he didn't want to share specifics. Carter left the shop and headed home. He was glad he chose to walk instead of bringing a car. It was a gorgeous day and he only lived a couple of blocks from the convenience store. The lottery ticket wasn't even the main purpose of his visit; but, he definitely felt like he got lucky.
"You've always been loyal to me. I find myself in an excellent mood and encourage you to celebrate your gifts...," A soft feminine whisper entered Carter's mind and he froze in place. He'd only made it across the first street when he stopped, stunned on the sidewalk. He knew that voice and it shouldn't exist.
"Ballisea...?" Carter whispered the name.
"I would have thought it obvious," the voice replied.
"You're not real!" He yelled. He instantly felt like his sanity was at stake.
"You don't want to be screaming that in public...," the voice giggled in his ear and Carter's vision went black. It only lasted a second and when the darkness cleared he was in his own living room. "... and now I've saved you a trip as well as your other boons. That was all the proof Carter needed.
"You're real!??" he asked.
"Yes, I am aware of that," Ballisea whispered. He could almost feel her breath on his ears. Somehow she was all around him.
"But how!?? I made you up!"
"Child, you've done no such thing," she said.
"I did!" Carter knew what he knew. "I imagined you when I was younger, I thought up everything about you."
"I forget how simple the mind of a Zero is...," Ballisea sighed.
"I'm a Zero? What's a Zero?" Carter asked.
"That's a different conversation that I have no interest in," Ballisea replied. "At the moment I need to adjust your perspective. I have existed since before time itself and I will remain after. You did not create me, you merely imagined what I already was."
"That's some coincidence...," Carter chuckled. He found it easy to believe her even if it didn't quite make sense to him.
"It's not a coincidence at all, that's how the universe works. You were only able to imagine me because I already existed."
"What do you mean?" Carter shook his head as he asked for clarification. "Everything I thought about you was my own original idea."
"The universe is a closed system," Ballisea laughed a little more enthusiastically than a giggle. It almost felt like she was mocking him; but, he wasn't about to complain. Whether he imagined her or not, he knew what Ballisea was capable of when she wasn't in a good mood. "The things inside can only make use of the things inside. There are no original ideas; everything exists somewhere."
"Not that I'm complaining...," Carter chose to change the subject so that he wouldn't end up arguing with her. "... but why are you in such a good mood? If you were around why didn't you do anything for me before?"
"I have rediscovered joy in something I thought would never be entertaining again," Ballisea replied. "As a goddess, I feel no obligation to answer your second question," she giggled. "I'm bored of this interaction now and I shall leave you to your date preparations. Before that though, I'd like to propose an interesting thought for you to ponder."
Carter had had an amazing day so far. He honestly didn't expect it to get any better after winning a decent sum; but, he certainly didn't expect it to get considerably worse. As soon as Ballisea left his mind he knew that his night was ruined. The woman he had a crush on was beautiful and funny and smart and lovely. He'd been wanting to get to know her for some time and finally had enough courage to ask her out. As much as he was looking forward to that at one point, he was not going to be able to stop thinking about what Ballisea said. It traumatized him in a subtle, sinister way that he did not expect.
"You thought you created me, and yet, here I am...," Ballisea whispered before she went silent. "....doesn't it make you wonder? Who thinks they imagined you?"