THE MOMENT
"The contract says I get YOUR FIRSTBORN, not your wife's!" screamed the fae. It wasn't a particularly sudden escalation, the winged woman behind the desk had steadily been growing more frustrated since the couple arrived, and they'd only been there five minutes.
"Oh, I'm glad I came for this...," Shauna, the mother happily took back her child the first time the fae rejected it; despite Greg's continued attempts to pay off his bargain. Of course, there was no world in which she didn't attend the transaction. She was ready to argue a dozen points before the fairy started getting flustered. It was her daughter, and she had nothing to do with the contract her husband made before they were married. He didn't even know about it until the day before when he admitted everything. She was willing to fight tooth and nail, and it was a major relief that she didn't have to. "...So, where's YOUR firstborn, Greg?" She still loved him.
Fae were common in the world and bargains weren't unheard of. It was inexcusable that he didn't tell her about the bargain once they got serious; but, it was the kind of thing that they could still bounce back from as a couple. Especially if she didn't have to give up her daughter. Although, the possibility of him cheating was much more difficult to sweep under the rug. Fortunately, they had only been together a couple of years, and she hoped the firstborn in question was from before that time.
"OUR DAUGHTER!" he gestured at the baby and Shauna shook her head.
"Apparently, my daughter doesn't count...," she said.
"Oh my god, you people...," the fairy sighed with obvious annoyance. "Look around," she gestured at the spartan, chrome-polished office. The walls and floors reflected warm golden hour light from the row of windows behind the fairy. Her office was on the 10th floor, and had a nice view of the city below.
"This is Chroma Corp., we're not some backwoods fairy court stealing babies for fun; we don't want your child, we don't want any child. Generally speaking, we don't do that," she said.
"But,... I made a deal...," Greg said.
"Yes, you did," the fairy nodded. "I have the whole thing documented; you came to us in need of help, and we made a deal that allowed us to help you. Since then, your health has improved and you've managed to get back on your feet right?" she asked.
"Yeah," he nodded first, then shook his head. "I would've taken the help without a deal."
"Well, of course," the fairy nodded. "But, that's not how we do things. We're still fae."
"Wait, so you say you don't want children, but you still made a deal for his firstborn? How does that work out?" Shauna asked.
"As I said, we're still fae," the fairy nodded with a smile. "We enjoy making deals, even if we have to leave a few exploitable loopholes."
"Loopholes? Wait... forget that. Why isn't this his first born?" Shauna realized the easiest loophole was for Greg to never have children. But what did it mean that it wasn't her daughter? "I haven't been with anyone else, if that's what you're going to say...," she added.
"If that's what I was going to say, it would've already been said," the fairy shook her head. "But, that child is not Greg's firstborn."
"I really need to know how, or what that means...," Greg shook his head. He'd been wracking his mind for an answer and none ever came.
"Fine...," the fairy was still frustrated. "I guess I have to spell it out for you, because you're not creative enough to figure it out. We're fae, we like contracts and wordplay, that's been established, right?" she asked. Both Greg and Shauna nodded. Even the baby giggled as if agreeing with her parents.
"We wanted to help Greg, but we don't want the chore of raising children. So, we used a carefully worded contract. In exchange for our financial help, Greg has to deliver us HIS firstborn child."
"... and it's not this one?" Greg gestured at the baby.
"NO!" the fairy buried her face in her palm for a moment as she recovered. "It's no fun if I have to explain it! HIS firstborn. HIS. HE HAS TO HAVE THE CHILD! Unless you get some other magic involved, that's not likely to happen, thus, a loophole. We never have to collect anything," she said.
"Oh. Well, thank you," Greg nodded and stood up along with Shauna and their daughter.
"Yeah yeah, have a nice day. Now, please leave.